The woods to the North of us are... meh?

So. I'm unable to even garner one night's rest without misery and loathing disturbing my peaceful slumbers. Better that the moles should have made a Vlad-kebab of me than that I should be stuck in this stupid submarine, surrounded by idiots. Anyway, the woods are not quite as bad as I expected... but still terrible. Does anyone have any ducks? I'm hungry and have no vodka. Oh well...